helping other people navigate through difficult times has been a joy for me as i've been growing up, i also notice people who like to help just for the sake of helping.

as humans (extremely social creatures) we tend to constantly seek approval from others because if that doesn't happen we don't get the chance to spread our genes, and to protect you from going extinct your brain will always tell you to avoid mispleasing others so you don't stay without community.

but this is quite still not the reason why a lot of people like to go out their way and help others, some people out there just get a sense of pleasure to find someone else suffering less, and the reason for that is something i call 'the mirror effect'.

people see in other people a replica of their past, they try to protect their younger selves by protecting the youth with advice, and the guy to help you with the biggest breakup of your life will be the most heartbroken dude you've ever met.

i'm not talking about helping your relative or neighbor, i'm talking about helping people who can't do a thing for you and you might not even see them again. the hungry, the old poor man, the orphan kid, the waitress, the single parent.

because when you help here you don't help for help in return, you don't get them to scratch your back after scrathing theirs. it's just a genuine spend of time and resource to help someone of the same kind not to have it the same way you did.

'cognitive empathy' is the emotional depth we get when we grow and experience more stuff in life, your psyche will develop more relatability to what other people are going through as if it's your own, it signals to you that helping that person is like helping myself. this is why they say "hardship makes people kinder".

it does because they've seen the other side, they've seen the outcome the other person might end up with and they don't wish to see the experience repeated.

the takeaway :

the more scars and experiences a person holds the more legitmate and and of real weight their advice will be, because they're advising their younger self not to fuck up this time. take it. iterate it to your own life.