I still don’t have a clear reason why I made this site and started writing stuff on it. I make $0 here. I’m not planning to become an author of some kind;

In fact, the only people who read this stuff are my IG story viewers. About 50ish people read these posts.

In internet numbers, that’s a very humble number, but two centuries ago, that was an emergency gathering for a small village.

It doesn’t matter if your ideas land on 2 or 2,000 people. It still serves the same purpose. Expression.

But still, I have no clear mathematical goal as to why I’m writing this right now. To explain something? To become better at writing? To waste time? No clear answer.

But if I could try my best to answer, I’d say it's an Anchor. I’ve been writing in physical notebooks for four years. I literally spent my teenage years writing stuff down, and just thought, why not share this with someone? So I built this website. To just do something interesting.

Q: When do you start to feel lost or hit a wall?

After finishing high school? In your twenties when you have no choice but to get serious? Your thirties when you’re now responsible for a child? Your forties and fifties when your children start to grow and separate to form their own identities?

Each stage of life has its own unique challenges. Each one has its own kind of hardship.

When you’re young, your hard times are purely internal. Your feelings. Your body. Your relationships. Your room. You don’t care much how the world works; you just experience it for free and mind your own business.

You have two ways to live this phase. You either see the unlimited freedom and go have maximum fun without any breaks. Because why not?

Or, you see the freedom and decide to find yourself in the meantime. You search. You read. You do meta-thinking. You go inside. You develop the logical part of your brain so when real life begins, you already have an idea of how the world actually operates.

Then you grow a little bit, and suddenly you notice your parents are no longer your caregivers. You are theirs. You start to realize you’re now an adult with moral duties. You barely have time for your own.

Most people suffocate here. They think: “So this is how life looks from now on? I should’ve enjoyed my childhood more. I’ll never have that freedom again.”

And when you find out you can no longer sleep over with the group and do the silly shit anymore, you start to search for that same hit in your new life. The adulthood one. You begin to understand that there’s also joy in the restriction you used to hate when you were younger.

The calm music. The love. The hard work you put in, and the purpose.

But the question remains: Do we get lost?

We don't get lost, we get confused. We step into a new unfamiliar chapter and panic when it's not familiar to us. We basically get mad at life for doing it's thing:

teaching you new stuff as you grow up.

You’re overthinking your situation because you think things should have gone another way. You think life is a program. That if there’s an error, it means you need to recheck your code and fix the bugs. While that can work sometimes, it doesn’t always work like that.

Life is incredibly messy. People divorce. People catch cancer. People wake up every day and brush their teeth like everyone else. But you only see their highlights and compare that to your behind-the-scenes.

Try separating how you view your life from how others are living theirs. View it as a unique story, no matter how weird or confusing it is. At least enjoy that you’re the author.

Fix things. But don’t get angry when they stay broken.

There’s a very nice quote by Albert Camus :

“Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is”.

You’re constantly anxious whether you’ll get ‘there’ or not. Most of the time you don’t even want to get ‘there’.

You’re just being a human with needs. You want the status. Not the job. You want freedom. Not the car. You want connection. not the specific person.

By stripping away the actual needs you have and understanding the actual ways to get them, your path gets much clearer and your life becomes less confusing.

There’s much more philosophy to these concepts, so i’ll leave some videos that explore the same thing. You should definitely watch sometime.